Sportsmanship by Action?

Today we coached one of our gymnasts in a regional competition. She performed very well, and she did an amazing job in performing. What was even more amazing than her performance was not something as visible as the the routines she performed on each event, but the fact that I observed two coaches demonstrating their character in sportsmanship. I am not sure they even realized that I or anyone else even noticed their character shining through their coaching. I have always been an advocate of “Leading with Character First.”
Here we were in the middle of a very important regional gymnastics meet and both coaches had their values, ethics, and character tested. In one coach’s actions, she showed genuine and authentic care and support for her gymnast who despite almost a perfect warm-up before the competition, completely fell apart while performing for the judges. When this gymnast completed her bar routine, after falling twice and missing several skills, the coach threw her arms wide open and just “hugged” her gymnast in support for her. What a great move! That coach demonstrated the most authentic and genuine care for her gymnast that I have ever seen….one can tell if someone really means it when they care, can’t they? It is really refreshing. The coach could have communicated what the errors were, she could have been embarrassed at her performance, she could have been angry, she could have been disappointed even, there are just so many things the coach could have done or said, but she didn’t. That coach showed great form herself. I am sure her gymnast will remember her coach's performance for a lot longer than she remembers her score or her own performance. I was so impressed that I went up to the coach after the meet was completed and told her I really respected her and her coaching….she had done a great job of mentoring and coaching her gymnast for life, not just gymnastics. WOW! We need more coaches like her.
The second instance was more of a demonstration of solid ethics and values by another coach who has personally helped me grow both as a person and a coach. Again, I am sure it didn't

even occur to him that those around him may be watching his actions…but, they spoke louder than anything else in that gym at that time. In this case, this coach’s gymnast had already finished warming up, and for whatever reason, the gymnast thought that the judge had saluted her and she began her routine. In the sport of gymnastics, if you start before the judge salutes there is a significant penalty. So, after she performed her routine and the coach realized that the judges had not been judging, he had to make a decision. Was he going to inform the judges that in fact this gymnast was not still warming up, but had completed her routine? He had to decide if he was going to make the head judge aware of that fact or not. Without any hesitation, this coach walked over to the judges table and informed the judge of his gymnast’s mistake. The judge made a decision and then had the gymnast perform again…most likely with some deduction in her score based on her starting before judge had acknowledged her. Now, this may seem trivial, but this was a clear example of actions speaking louder than words…and this coach’s actions spoke volumes. He knew they would most likely not catch the fact that she had performed, they just thought she was the last one warming up. So, he did the right thing….at the right time…in the right way. Having been mentored by him over the years, and having watched him over all those years coach all the kids he has, I was very proud to say he is my friend, colleague, and fellow coach. I walked over to him and praised him for his choice to “act with character.” 3 CHEERS for this Coach! Leading with Character takes courage and values…both coaches demonstrated those characteristics. We need to Remember to Lead with Character First. Character does count….others may be watching!

Our Actions Follow Our Values

The beginning of each New Year always allows me to reflect on the past year and plan for the upcoming year. This year was no different. My wife and I took a very relaxing vacation to Florida. On the plane ride there, I had been reading a new book called “Judgment – How Winning Leaders Make Great Calls,” by Noel M. Tichy and Warren G. Bennis. This book promised to be very interesting and full of gold nuggets concerning character education, and how our character values impact the judgment calls we all have to make as leaders on a daily basis. I have always believed that “leading with character first” is the most important step any person can possibly take to live a healthy lifestyle worthy of example to others. I have even spoken about this subject called” Judgment” during the seminars that focused on my climb up Mt. Ararat (altitude of 17,000 ft) in the late 80’s.
Well, as fate would have it (and I believe there is a reason for everything that happens to us), on the last night of our vacation, my wife and I were enjoying a leisurely dinner before the New Year midnight festivities, when my wife overheard a couple at another dinner table talking about a Florida University team that had literally expelled dozens of football players recently from the team because of cheating on an open book exam. As many of you are aware, at Deutsch’s Gymnastics Training Center we are passionate about helping to mold our athletes’ character by shaping their values and discipline, so you can imagine that this story was of real interest to me and a real shocker too. I could imagine one or two or even several players expelled for cheating, but dozens? I had never heard of such numbers before. However, I am told that at least half of this team of 60 or so players cheated on their open book exam. That is both astounding and shocking! What does that say about the leaders of the coaching staff as well as the leaders of the players themselves? Furthermore, it reminded me of one of my team captains at Deutsch’s telling me that cheating was extremely prevalent at our local high school. So, this kind of thing is not just happening in Florida. How very sad, and disappointing. Well, in this book on judgment, the authors make a case for the fact that our actions always follow our values, and our values shape our character. Isn’t that interesting! No rocket science right? I believe this kind of behavior is a very real problem in our society today and permeates the moral fabric of our society today. Somehow, we must have drifted so far off course as a culture and as a society that we no longer even recognize our own moral compass. How shameful! Do we not have the dignity and fortitude, as a society and culture and nation, to re-capture that moral compass? This month I encourage each of you to be courageous enough to set a New Year’s resolution and determine to “lead by example with character first.” Each of us as one can make a difference in the lives and quality of lives of those around us that we touch each day of our lives.

I am reminded of what Robert Schuller once said, “It is not hard for any one of us to see the tree that came from a single Apple seed, but it is only God who can see the number of apples that can come from a single seed.” Let’s make sure that each of us does everything we can to help all the apples develop great character. “Lead With Character First!”

Proud Brother!

The 9th and 10th of September were some of the most exciting events in my life! My whole family was flown to Bentonville, AR to watch my sister receive an award from Wal-mart.

You would say that this was the most exciting thing too, if your sister was one of only eight truckers chosen out of over 7,000 truckers in the USA to represent one of the largest retailers in the world...Wal-Mart. That's right....my little sister is an 18 wheel "jockey" and has been driving trucks for nearly two decades. With over 7,000 truckers to choose from, only eight Wal-Mart truckers were inducted into the very first Wal-Mart Road Team (i.e.-WAL-MART with eight letters). What an honor and celebration.

Alot of day-after-day over-the-road miles went into winning this prestigious honor for my little sister....over 1,000,000 safe driver miles is only one of her accomplishments. I kind of equate this to the United States Air Force's Thunderbird Team or even the US Navy's Blue Angels. Only the best of the best...the creme de la creme. Way to go SIS!

Michael Josephson's "What Will Matter"

I am preparing an introductory presentation for a school district on Character Counts (www.charactercounts.org). Character Counts is a program that was designed by Michael Josephson under his primary business called The Josephson Institute of Ethics (www.josephsoninstitute.org). I wanted to share this poem with you that Michael wrote because it really emphasizes the difference between Success and Significance. I chose Significance and still do....enjoy.

Here it is: http://www.josephsoninstitute.org/movie_whatwillmatter.html .

Until next time..."Lead with Character First"....Heidi Ho....

Through Adversity

This morning, I was listening to Dr. James Dobson interviewing a person who had been aborted during her mother's pregnancy, but survived the abortion. My heart was touched with the forgiveness and maturity with which this young lady spoke. She said two things that really hit home with me, and I hope will add value to your life, and those around you as well:

First, she said that her joy comes through adversity. So much could be said about this, but suffice it to say that noone likes to experience pain, either emotional or physical, but it is a reality in this life. This young lady's adversity will serve other people's gain. She is so courageous and brave to share her life with us.

Second, she quoted Abraham Lincoln when he said, "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing."

Both of these people went through a tremendous amount of adversity, but came out the other side a better person who more importantly, could add value to the lives of others because of their growth through adversity.

Sometimes, when we are experiencing adversity (the tough times), it is difficult to remember that the sun will come up again tomorrow. Remember, forgiveness heals, and the sun will come up again tomorrow. See it through my friend.....Heidi Ho.

Heido Ho

I received several requests from people visiting my blog to explain why I end many of my blogs with "Heidi Ho." Here is the story...

I started using the Heidi Ho salutation kind of like Carol Burnett with her earlobe touch or like Red Skelton with his "And may God Bless" at the end of each show. The reason I use Heido Ho is based on a young female gymnast that I coached for several years in our gymnastics training center. Heidi was the epitome of a perfect gym daughter. She was focused, made changes when asked and was trustworthy. She was a very responsible and mature young adult. Many times, as a coach, I called on Heidi to be the role model and lead the rest of the team gymnasts even though she was much younger than some of the other gymnasts. I could always depend on Heidi. What shined most in her life was her attitude. She always looked for the bright side of things.

As if it was a prophetic thing, one night in May several years ago now, Heidi was not looking like her normal self and I asked what was wrong. Trying to hide her tears, Heidi told me that she had lost the only Track and Field hurdle race she had ever lost on the previous day. In fact as a Sophomore in High School, Heidi was ranked 3rd in the State in High Hurdles. I put my arm around her shoulder and encouraged her. She finally told me that it was ok, and she would have another chance to win the next race against the gal that had beaten her. I then changed the subject and teased her on why she hadn't asked me (her Gym Dad) if she could go to the prom the week before. Furthermore, I told her the least she could do was bring me pictures of her and her date. She said she would. As Heidi went out the door of the gym that night, I remember distinctly telling her to be careful driving. Heidi responded back that she was always careful.

Those were the last words I ever spoke to Heidi, as she died in a head-on car crash the very next day while driving to gymnastics practice. She never arrived for gym practice. I even asked my wife during practice if Heidi had called. She hadn't called. That was not like Heidi at all. After practice ended that night and we were at home, someone phoned us to say that Heidi had died instantly in a car crash enroute to gymnastics practice. After that, I remember someone shared with me that when they looked into the car , Heidi's prom pictures were scattered about. Evidently, she was going to share those pictures with her Gym Dad as I had teased her about.

So, today I still miss Heidi, but I want her strong character to live on. She can still be that leader and mentor, because even today I still see the younger gymnasts (who never knew Heidi) look at her picture on the Wall of Champions and read about her. Heidi was a Champion of Life.

And in some small way, by ending my seminars and blogs with "Heidi Ho," I remind myself and others of the fact that life is fragile and is a journey. We need to remember that life is a gift and we should be sharing a great attitude with those around us that are on their journey in life as well. Until the next blog...."Heidi Ho!"

Lying Is Just Good Salesmanship

As everyone today knows, the era of the cell phone has changed the way our society and culture operate as well as how individuals function on a daily basis. Without our trusty cell phone, we all would feel like we had lost connection with the world. That truth was realized in a very personal way today. My phone (actually a PDA with all my contacts, calendar, and email) died, while I was on a trip to the other end of the state from my home.

I was clearly lost. I couldn't function as efficiently or contact people back who continued to email me and/or call me. Clearly, they were sailing ahead in the Internet Sea and I had been set adrift, thereby spending most of the day trying to stay connected via laptop and desperately trying to find a way to get a new PDA shipped to me overnight. Tonight after only 12 hours of no PDA, I feel vulnerable and have wasted most of the day trying to contact someone from my cell phone provider in my home area that can help me. Unfortunately, the area I am visiting has no cell phone dealer from the company I contract with. So, that exponentially complicated my life and ability to get this issue resolved.

Because I am struggling with this situation today, the experience drudged up loads of memories on other issues that I have had with this same cell phone provider. Topping that list of issues was a conversation I had with a regional vice-president in which I asked him a very simple question, "can I get a new phone under my old contract without renewing my current contract?" The answer was a simple and quick resounding, "yes."

"Well then, why did my cell phone salesperson tell me that I had to sign another two year contract when I moved my cell phone from a Blackberry to a Treo PDA?", I asked him. He said he didn't know why the salesperson would tell me that when clearly the television ads and radio ads were advertising that you could get a new phone anytime without incurring a new contract. I asked him then if this salesperson was lying. His response was, "not lying, just being a good salesperson."

I wonder....was it just good salesmanship? The truth will always come out later. In this case, the fact that this sales person had lied to me does not give me a sense of trust that they can solve my current situation. Indeed, in trying to call the cell phone company this salesperson has not only changed their phone number again, but also changed their email address. I also wonder if this salesperson has to do this time and time again because they can't keep up with all the lies they may have told other customers. It certainly might be good salesmanship according to this vice president, but I believe it to be the worst form of customer service. Again, character needs to reign supreme in each of our lives, even when it doesn't benefit us most. I believe that lies, no matter how white or small, will always catch up with a person.

I hope I get my PDA replaced shortly, but fortunately I can still "blog away" and get most things done on my trusty laptop. I guess cell phone customer service still just isn't what it's cracked up to be. I was reminded by a friend today that "character is demonstrated by what you do when noone is looking." -Heidi Ho-